...that's what God deserves. I wish i could fully fathom Him and His greatness...someday I suppose when I get to heaven. This morning we talked in Sunday School about the physical description of Christ in heaven and how magnificent He is (rev 1). ITS HOW WE SEE HIM...we talked about how if we really STOP AND THINK first who we are really praying to, then our prayers and our actions would be different. I feel like it's totally true. I know a lot of how God wants me to live but I seem to continually have what i am going to call "wake-up moments" where it's like I wake up and realize that i havent been faithful to God in one way or another. I hate waking up and realizing that I have again chosen to reject Him and disobey Him and even more DISAPPOINT Him. :( I guess another important thing I have recently learned was a little over a week ago at paradigm; bruce was preaching about HOW GOD SEES US (Zechariah 3)... when we accept Christ into our hearts and into our lives as our Hope and Love and Merciful Master, then it's the same picture as in this passage where God no longer sees us in dirty rags bc He has ordered the angels to get us a new robe and a clean turban. We are now clothed like royalty, and we are commanded to stop listening to the deceiver when he tries to tell us otherwise. We are NOW WORTHY, but it is ONLY through the grace and mercy that is the blood of JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
This is all easier said than understood and easier understood than lived out...thats my goal. I want to be the woman God created me to be IN HIM! I want to fulfill HIS purposes for me...I know it wont be easy, but imma try my best and lean on Him for strength and guidance. I am going to surround myself with good Godly influences in my life that make me want to seek Him more and cut out the ones who don't. It will be hard enough without having people around that are always trying to pull me down and make choices I know i dont need to be making...kinda bittersweet i guess since i know some of the details which that entails...
on a happier note, to date i have lost 35 pounds since the wedding diet started last january for Lisa's wedding, hopefully 30 more by next January, but hopefully sooner as I am in high gear and determined like nobody's business right now! new jeans on tuesday! :)
gotta go to bed so i can get up early tomorrow morning, im hoping for the feds to be there so i can get all this review crap outta the way, im sick of it!
anyways, goodnight.
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